Covid Check-in: How are you?


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Good Morning MadCast!

I've sat on this post for a few days, but feel it is important. The state of the world is weird and different. Some things are moving quickly, some are moving slowly. And every person is handling things differently. I want to make this a place where people can talk and support each other. We're not alone in this day to day grind. 

For myself, I'm in my fifth week of grad school this year, out of thirteen total weeks. It's scary to me that it seems to be going by super fast and I don't feel like I'm getting as much done as I need to. This is piled on top of the stress of applying for DMA programs, deciding which schools to apply to, making sure I can have all the requirements. Because of all this, I fall into the trap of having so much to do, that is causes anxiety to where I don't do the work and procrastinate, then become depressed that I did not get work done. I usually manage to bounce back a little during the week, but it's a vicious cycle. 
The inability to hang out with people in person as easily as I would like is also biting at me. It's slowly bringing me down. I find myself wishing more and more I could invite someone over to watch a movie or sit down for lunch with a friend. I start to worry that the loneliness will be permanent. At least, that's what my brain tries to tell me. 

However, there are also positive things, that I hope you all will also share. For one, it has been incredibly comforting to have MadCast around as a solid constant. I talk to people here every day, I hang out or play games with y'all. It's a great way to stay connected to people I enjoy being around. It keeps me grounded and not in my head so much. Another thing is that even though not hugging people sucks, I still get to play music at school. We just socially distance while we're doing it, but it's so much fun to be able to play music again, I didn't realize how much I needed it. I have also gotten into the habit of being proud of the amount of work I have done, given that it's during weird times. It's better than beating myself up for otherwise. 

And so, I invite you to talk about how your life is going. I hope you all are hanging in there if not doing well. If you ever need someone to talk to or wanna hang out in a channel, my DMs are always open and I always have discord up on my computer. Have a wonderful day MadCast. 

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Overall the virus has not extremely changed my day-to-day life; I still work on art commissions and do work-from-home jobs like data entry or extensive surveys. I find the customer service genre of work to be very emotionally exhausting, and there isn't much else available in this area. I do have more anxiety for my loved ones, as my mother works in healthcare with elderly veterans and my husband works retail and is exposed to many careless customers. The one benefit of living in such a small town is that almost no cases have popped up and it doesn't spread very quickly.

I'm very lucky to have my husband and immediate family close by so that if anyone did get sick I would be able to assist them. I haven't really struggled with loneliness as many others have had to during this pandemic, which keans I have a bit more energy to socialize online. I am always available to talk to and do my best to keep things positive and motivating. Even when I feel burnt out I enjoy helping others, especially here in MadCast.

Thank you for taking the time to share your struggles Qrow. I don't think I would be able to focus on schoolwork at all in your situation and you deserve a good pat on the back for your dedication.

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@MadCast: Qrow seems kinda sus

Honestly its not been too terrible. I work at home, I usually never go to the store that often, just 1 or 2 times a month and thats the same. I still caregive for my mom and the only real difference is that my dad moved up to the cabin when covid hit and he could work remote so my dad has been around a lot more. the kids are distance learning and so they are home instead of at school but its all good. Dad fell off the wagon with everything so he left about 2 weeks ago to go to rehab for a month and I feel like sometimes the family expects that I should have made sure that he wasn't drinking but at the end of the day I can't control that, he lives in a house that is on my property but he doesn't live with me so its not like if he was hiding drinking I could have really known but it is what it is. Glad he is getting the help he needed. I was probably a little depressed a little because of LDND and @MadCast: JigglesTheFett DND games ending with all of everything, I guess its not just like in a bubble covid but covid and the state of the nation and people of color being murdered by the police and the family stuff and friend drama and and and always feels like I am emotionally drained and sometimes I wake up and I don't want to reach for my phone because I don't want to get any bad news. I haven't been sleeping. I use to go places, not a lot but sometimes I would go down state to my brother's (Dan) or sometimes I would go down to visit Jiggles and I don't think I have gone there since before covid. Right before covid I had my exwifes brothers exgirlfriend and her baby staying here for a few month because she didn't have anywhere to live and that was a little stressful too... it was the weekend before my birthday I took her to her parents house and then my state locked down and my dad was here when the lockdown started so its like I never caught my breath after that. I use to entertain ladies too, I had a few different casual arrangements and thats kinda been thrown out the window too because of this and thats a bit of a drag. I am friends with some people that live down by my sister in another state and if it wasn't the end of the world I would honestly like to try and take a vacation and stop and see Jiggles and my sister and friends and maybe try and get out of my head a little. I have some projects around the house, nothing major but like these ceiling tiles are shitty and I need to just rip it out and dry wall it instead and I haven't done it. I have to rearrange the bathroom and the seal in the tub faucet is not working so it drips and it would only take an afternoon to move everything and redo the tub but I haven't done it. Sometimes boy 1 gets angry with his step dad and I feel like hes projecting anger at him from his mother and I and I don't know how to make that situation better. My car has some kind of electrical issue that I don't really know how to fix so I haven't been driving my car since last December and just ignoring its an issue. With all that thou TBH I am still working and not driving or going anywhere means that I have saved a lot more money this year than I typically do. I never had any credit when I was younger, instead of building credit and getting a mortgage I was really fortunate to purchase my house on a land contract. I have been saving about 60% of my income since I bought my house, both from my work @ home job and the work I do for my mother. my dad has 2 cars and told me I can always use the Spark for whatever I need to do and while I appreciate that it makes me feel like I am taking advantage of my parents sometimes... I know intellectually I am not but just in the back of my head Im like I am suppose to be doing things for them instead of the other way around now. Little things like tonight, boy 2 (AKA 'best boy') was playing Among Us with some of us on MadCast and after I had him head to bed people had nice comments about him and that made me feel like maybe I am not completely failing at everything so that was neat.

... I mean, 'its going'

 

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Got it at the end of March.  Worst "flu" I've ever had.  Thankfully didn't have the respiratory issues that become life threatening.  Lost taste, couldn't get out of bed, etc.  Started to rebound after 6 days.  Roughly two weeks after I was bed-bound I was back to normal.  So happy ending, I guess.  

 

Working from home has been fucking amazing.  I actually work like 30 hours a week, but get paid for the 40+ I was putting into the office.  I managed to land a promotion, which has both been a curse and a blessing.

I really made out on this.

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It has been an interesting year that is for sure.  My job went 100% work from home which I like as I drove 22 miles one way to work each day and was putting miles on my car and with traffic 1.5 hours of my day was spent sitting in a car.  Due to working at home, I was able to cut a lot of expenses and start saving money.  I got rid of my car(it was a newish car, I was paying almost 450 a month car payment, plus 250 for insurance).  After not having a vehicle for a bit decided I wanted something to get around with, so at the young age of 41 I decided to buy a motorcycle.  Granted I had never ridden before, but grew up around them. So it was a fun learning experience.  Had it for a month and a half now and I love it, it's been a nice destresser on the weekends when I just want to go for a ride for a bit(I am outside the city some, so its nice 2 lane highway desert scene. I will post a pic in discord for those who want to see it.  It was nice going from 450 payment/250 insurance to 100 bike payment and 40 for insurance.  I have been very thankful to keep my job through all of this and we are being advised we will work from home until at least summer of 2021, so it's been a great relief not having to worry about the stress of dealing with what may happen when forced back into the office.  While Phoenix has had a huge spike in cases, I am lucky to say nobody I know has contracted it and we have all been taking precautions to keep that up.

 

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