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Learn from your failure.

Cinchil

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This time, I want to talk about something we all hate with such passion that it inspires us to such hurtful and negative emotions that many of us choose to ignore it all together. We as people are known to lash out, pity ourselves, overreact, and worst of all deny it.If you read the title then you already know I am talking about failure. Our mistakes can ruin our day or simply not effect us, be demoralizing or educational, rage-inducing or take the form of a reality check, all depending upon how you view it. The key is not to force yourself to be chipper, but to take each failure as a learning experience. As Thomas Edison once said "I have not failed, I have just found 10,000 way that wont work".

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First and foremost you need to own up to your mistakes. This means taking command of your shortcomings so that they become a part of who you are and don't dictate who you are. I have Cerebral Palsy but I have learned that it is not who I am, it is simply a part of what I am. If you let every failure dictate who you are then you become a failure to yourself. Once that happens everyone else will fall in line and also see you as what you see yourself. I am still guilty of this to this day and it irks me to no end that I have been self-depreciating at times. I just did it yesterday in a LoL game and looking back I know exactly what caused my failure. I refused to acknowledge my first failure and it spiraled into more of the same mistake. These are times when you need to, for lack of a better phrase, man up and step into what you've done.

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We've all been there, those times when you miss all of your shots playing HORSE and your friend takes the opportunity to jab you quickly about it. You get mad and throw the ball at them really hard or you just retreat into that shell of yours and act gloomy for a while never realizing that there is so much to be learned from what you just did. You failed, you loathe the feeling, but that does not have to be the end of it. Why did you fail, were you not able to get the ball high enough because you have noodle arms? How can you change that, are you willing to put the effort into working out? The single most important question any time you fail is "What can I do to improve myself so that next time I don't fail?". Asking yourself that simple question could be the difference between staying as you are and becoming a person who knows success in anything you do.

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Before you begin asking yourself these questions though, you need to be able to look at yourself honestly and without negative personal bias. This can be one of the most intricate and challenging things you'll ever do. Removing yourself from, yourself, is like tearing a child from the arms of its mother. Your first reaction in every situation is to protect yourself from physical or mental pain. That instinct is the single biggest barrier between you and the world, and it not something to be trifled with. There is no sure way to be able to objectify every situation but a few tips in the right direction may help; First you have to consciously make the decision to analyze yourself and the situation you are in. This means you have to force yourself to begin looking at what is going on around you as well as inside you. Then you need to remove yourself from what you are looking at. I'm not saying that you need to be blaming the things around you, no, what I mean is that your ego needs to vanish from the equation. Many people find it easier to think as if someone else of slightly higher skill level was there instead of themselves. I personally have been conditioning myself to look what I do wrong through the eyes of a spectator. It is simple for me because I have been spectating all my life. I watch myself fumble a cup, drop a plate full of food, win or lose a wrestling match, I watch myself and others competing in whatever sport or game. The view is a bit different but I am still watching.

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When you are able to set your ego aside and get past the hurt or that urge to shield yourself from whatever mental anguish a failure may cause you that is when you will grow the most. We start out learning from other's failure, be it our parents or our siblings and somewhere in the middle we unconsciously decide to stop learning to halt the negative emotions that go along with what is the single greatest way to become better as people. Whether it is a social, mental, or physical failure, that failure and the feelings that go along with it is there so that we don't make the same mistake twice. Depending on if you choose to learn from failure or not will make all the difference between it being a negative or a positive experience.



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