MadCast: Vyoletta

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About MadCast: Vyoletta

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  • Birthday 06/22/1989

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    i love rabbits.
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    games, anime, animals
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    MadCast: Vyoletta
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  1. Thanks for this great post. I would just like to add the Crisis Text Line for anyone who might find it easier to text than to call. They also urge anyone to call who is experiencing emotional pain of any kind- from anxiety to bullying to loneliness to suicide. Please reach out. Text Hello to 741741 from anywhere in the United States. Text Hello to 686868 in Canada Text Hello to 85258 in the UK. Also, you can reach someone via Facebook Messenger from the page. Just hit 'Send Message." Here is the link for better instructions and more information: *I think they have more international numbers on their website.
  2. It's been a minute, but I guess I'll weigh in. I don't normally do this but I will today. My story is odd, but I'll try to share it and answer your question. I currently, personally identify as bisexual. I grew up, however, in a strict Catholic home and went to an all-girls Catholic high school (and then a catholic college). I have always been attracted to girls, in retrospect, but was taught outright that it was wrong, unnatural, and any physical intimacy with anyone of either gender was a ticket straight to hell. I also met my husband @MadCast: VoShay when I was 11, and I have been in love with him ever since. I spent most of high school following VoShay around while desperately ignoring any other feelings I had. I also had a very difficult time with affection early on that simultaneously pushed people away. It wasn't until I was in college and luckily deeply committed to VoShay that I realized I was very much cross-platform compatible. You see, I received two love letters from classmates after high school graduation- from two people I cared about and, in retrospect, probably would have dated if all things aligned. Those letters were the first time I realized how I felt. I wasn't disgusted or indifferent about those letters. I felt like I had missed some sort of opportunity. And that's when I realized I was "ambidextrous". Did that realization instantly make me want to break up with VoShay and figure out some alternate path? No. Did I think about it? A little. Did it change my relationship with VoShay? Not really. But I did experience some of my friends asking for evidence or expressing similar doubt. Honestly, the only way to explain it was to say that I get the same feeling of attraction for women that I have for men. I get nervous; I want to get to know them more; I want to be there for them. Granted, a lot of my experience is retrospective, and I am in a committed relationship with VoShay, so there are a few people who don't believe me. But, ironically enough, VoShay believes me and often jokes about women we would both have dated or would date if we weren't committed. I am in no way trying to invalidate your experience. I had a gut reaction to "most people who identify as trans may simply be confused or influenced by these very social constructs." And I felt like I had to chime in. I don't think you are wrong that social constructs influence how trans people may feel about themselves. I also agree that these boxes force people into boxes that do way more harm than good. However, in my personal experience, it feels like it is more than that. Almost every trans person I know has experienced such intense body dysmorphia/gender dysmorphia, that they are willing to either mutilate themselves to get relief or they become a victim of suicide. It has taken so many hours of therapy and doctors visits and hormone therapy and so many "I love you always" to reach this point of almost happiness in our lives that it feels like challenging social constructs isn't enough. Trans & their family challenge the social constructs every day. We lift our chins to whoever judges. But as much as the problem is deconstructing social constructs, it also involves acceptance. Acceptance that someone's gender generally isn't "your" (general you) business. Acceptance that someone's gender might not be what you think it is. Acceptance that it is unethical to leave someone in excruciating pain- including gender/body dysmorphia, and acceptance that to reject treatment would be to subject them to lifelong depression, possible self-harm, and the possibility of suicide. I'm sorry if anyone disagrees with me or if I come off angry. I am. But not at Kitty or anyone here. I'm angry because of how painful and exhausting this journey has been for us but how worthwhile it has been to fight and continue to fight for this life. I am known to be a highly sensitive person, so take from this what you will, but I stopped playing league because of stuff like this. I asked someone once why they say such hateful things, and their snarky reply was: "well, it's the fuckin truth. and the truth hurts." this person, in particular, was obviously trying to hurt/shock people because of how upset they felt in the situation. In this case, the person was aware they were saying hurtful things and said them purposefully.
  3. I know this is a common sentiment, but personally, if i didn't hold on to that hope/impression, i might be dangerously apathetic. if that makes me naive, so be it. i may not be very vocal when it comes to politics, but at least i'm listening, learning, and making a (small) difference.
  4. I saw this last night! I am listening to the album too. I wish I could distill the intense confidence and mettle of this song and take it with me wherever I go. I love it.
  5. I prefer red peppers myself, especially on hard-boiled eggs. But a hot sauce is also acceptable. I've had eggs with ketchup but I prefer spicy to sweet.
  6. Let me preface this by saying that complaining too much is bad for anyone in any instance. But I think “instrumental complaining” can be incredibly helpful for people who need to constructively deal with their negative emotions and find solutions. This type of “complaining” allows us to experience and understand our negative reactions and come up with solid solutions. For example, if you confront your partner about overspending, that would be instrumental complaining. And it would be a healthy and constructive way to process the emotional baggage while keeping focus on the solutions. My point is that this is an important way people can process things. Which is why I think someone “not having the right to complain” is silly in this instance. It’s like saying someone doesn’t have the right to process their negative emotions in order to understand their political positions, and it also feels like a way to gate-keep someone who may be unable to vote for an extraneous reason. All American citizen’s have the right to vote. And I agree that we have a responsibility to vote and be invested in that vote. But I don’t think people who don’t vote subsequently don’t have the right to complain. In fact, if they learn to complain the right way, it might instead help them to vote.
  8. This New England Style Bun reminds me of sandwich bread. It's also in league with the Poppyseed bun for being the most delicious hot dog bun available. This New England Style Bun reminds me of sandwich bread. It's also in league with the Poppyseed bun for being the most delicious hot dog bun available. The definition of (n.) sandwich includes meat between two pieces of bread and the verb form also requires an item to be squeezed between two things, so maybe a hotdog is not a sandwich. I don't think one split bun counts as two separate items, despite how "in between" the hot dog might be. Then again, I quite enjoy putting peanut butter on one piece of bread, and I still call that a sandwich. In fortuitous conclusion: 😁
  9. Tension: 1 Calm Wind, Flat Ground, Road Kyoko seemed unhurried, considering his words. After a moment, her hands moved, and she pulled out two small red bean manju. She tossed one of them into her mouth and then offered the other in an outstretched hand. "I find sweets to be exceptionally tasty before and after a duel. Don't you?" As she finished the manju (and pocketed the other if the offer was refused), Kyoko unsheathed her long sword and strode forward to settle in front of her opponent. "Your sensei tends to drive his hand in clandestine ways." The grip of her hands on her sword, along with the position of her feet, seemed unmistakably familiar to Raifu. It was clear to one of the learned protege's of the Hokuten that this loyal Nanten follower was at one point advised by the clandestine hand of another. Reveal: Kyoko was trained by Mitsurugi Move: Stare Roll: 7 - You both reveal something about your character and increase the tension by 1. Reveal: Kyoko loves sweets. Raifu must also reveal something. Calm Wind, Flat Ground, Road Tension: 2
  10. Kyoko leaned against the trunk of an old Cherry tree. This spot was one of a rare few in the city. In the crook of the bend, the creaking boughs of this ancient tree had sheltered many over hundreds of years and witnessed much bloodshed. It would do so again tonight. The footsteps of her opponent echoed under the thick canopy, and she stepped out to give them pause. This would be quite the challenge. A small smile played on her lips as she heard him speak, and her eyes sweeped over his silhouette in the moonlight. She fingered the hilt at her hip. “It is Fate that brought us together, friend. Are you ready for the Kami to receive you this night?”
  11. Stories Untold is free on Epic Games until May 30 Rime will be free on Epic Games from May 23 to May 30
  12. Kyoko was definitely not expecting to fight again so soon, but she knew the promise of rest was fleeting and weak. There was no point in responding. There was only one answer that hung in the air. One of victory. She pocketed the coin and placed the rice wine upon the table as she stood. She felt dirty and low but she would not let that deter her from the path her master had set. Her gaze rested upon the pair of men, her rivals, and she took a deep breath- steeling herself. She caught the next passing waitress and gave her a message. Now, she must wait. She tidied her clothes, covering her present wound, and went out into the cold night. @MadCast: rife170 The waitress made her way towards the men of the Hokuten. She waited to catch their eye and then gave them this message: an opponent waited outside for Negumi Raifu. Would he accept the challenge?
  13. Kyoko took a breath before she spoke, and her gaze hovered upon the coin on the table. She was accustomed to accepting them but still felt unworthy of the gift. The clan was filled with many wealthy and influential people, and, as a lowly musician, she constantly felt like an imposter. Even with Batosu-sama's clear acceptance. She let out the breath she held as she spoke. "You have told me before to use my music as an anchor and hat I should prepare for a fight as I do for the pieces I perform. I have trained for so long, but I have yet to be able to assess my duels as quickly as I assess my music. This most recent performance was decidedly disappointing. I failed to find my rhythm and timed my attack poorly. In the end, he got the better of me." The unburdening of these thoughts was both freeing and terrifying. Her demeanor remained calm, but her eyes shimmered briefly. It felt as though she continued to waste the training her mentor had given her. The cup of rice wine that occupied her hands became an adequate distraction from this emotion, and she sipped it quietly. Occasionally, she wiped the dampness from her eyes. After a moment of silence, she spoke again and couldn't help but give him a fierce nod. "I will not lose the next one, sensei." She picked up the coin from the table and held it in her palm. "Despite my shortcomings, it is delightful to be in your presence. How have your travels been, sensei?" Maybe it was the exhaustion turning to delirium, but she did not notice her own speech becoming informal.
  14. She would have ignored the server had they not automatically set the rice wine down at her table. This was definitely unexpected. She looked up with quizzical eyes and listened as the name Daimyo Batosu and invitation were spoken. If her face was pale from blood loss, then it was probably translucent now. This could not possibly be happening. She cursed silently and regretted not going straight home. It wasn't that she was ungrateful or unaware of the honor, but this was not the moment to receive such a gift. She gulped down her nerves and thought frantically about what she would say to redeem herself. He certainly had to know of her loss this afternoon... There could be no excuses from her. She was young, but she was strong. She must face the Daimyo with courage and confidence. They were friends... well, friendly, at least. She picked up the tokkuri of rice wine and made her way to his table. "Thank you, Batosu-sama." She bowed deeply. "I hope you are doing well this evening." As she sat, she felt hyper-aware of how unkempt she must appear and prayed that the Kami would save face for her.
  15. The woman entered the Inn quietly and headed straight for the upper floor. She chose a bench with a view of the door, the raucous crowd that mulled about the first floor, and one very specific back corner booth. It had been a long and eventful night; and, for once, she needed a moment to breathe more than she needed to drink and be merry. She took stock of herself and shuddered, both to dislodge the dirt from her person and also to try and shake off the feeling of disappointment that followed her. She would never reach her goal if she continued to lose. Her tattered robes were fairly grimy and muted but there were bright, fresh splotches of blood on them. It was clear to any who approached that she was tired and injured. Soon, she would get up and grab some food and maybe some beer. For now, she would sit here and attempt to regain her composure. OPEN