My family has a history of depression, bi polar and anxiety. Iv been around it my whole life. My father had it and it got to the point where one day he threatened to kill himself in front of my then 15 year old sister. My mother tried to help but was at her wits end with it and made a declension to put him in a psych ward. My mother had given up on him and at that point in time I was the only family to reach out and try and help him. It was an endless cycle of taking phone calls from him while I was at home, work and out. Any spare time I had was spent with him at the psych ward to try and help him get better. In end the it started to take such an emotional toll on me I couldn't deal with and it started to effect my personal and my professional life. My finance at the time broke up with me because he couldn't deal with me and my constant mood swings. My mood swings got to the point where they would get violent and I would punch holes in walls and cupboards. He left me at a time where I need someone the most and it only lead to me getting worse. At this point in my life I was at my lowest, didnt know how to deal with things so I started binge drinking, going out every night and at my very worst doing drugs just so I didn't have to feel anything. This was the point where I decided I need some serious help, I got on meds and started to feel better. The meds only help to certain extent. I still have days where I cry at nothing, I dont want to leave the house for days on end or even talk to people. But Iv realized that this isn't a bad thing, Im allowed to have bad days.